Hawaii Sobriety
Picture it: April 1st “23. I was a week out of rehab, and ready to start living again,but secretly I was afraid. I knew who I was as an addict and I had just started to meet myself as a sober person. We weren’t friends yet. I barely knew him.
I had hopped a plane to Hawaii the night before. I had been planning this since day one rehab. Detox is a bitch and there is no way around it. I wanted to quit 15 hours in, but my best friend, Steve convinced me to stay. If I could make it through my 90 days he would meet in Hawaii. We last went together as high school graduates and had a blast. He would finally learn scuba diving and he promised to leave the wife and kids at home. He would even convince Jason And Luis to join us. A guy’s high school reunion of sorts. Two weeks of sand,surfing, and sunshine. Deal.
I was alone the first day. The other guy’s were flying in from various parts of the country. I was meeting Luis at the airport at 2am ,12 hours from now. As I noticed all the tourists drinking tropical cocktails at a beachside bar and grill, I realized 12 hours was more than enough time to get myself into trouble. I ate my mediocre sandwich and headed to the water.
I was bitter. But then looked around ,and took in the sights. We were fortunate enough to be staying at a world class resort in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I was alive after everything I had been through, and as a reward I got two weeks of uninterrupted male bonding time. With guys I had known since high school ,who were like brothers to me, and offered me support. Really, I was lucky. I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, just like the therapist had shown me. I was in paradise and needed to make the most of it.
I was finally ready. Ready to be sober , and figure out what that meant. Shedding the party boy lifestyle was tough,but since I am a middle aged man it was time. I turned around to face the future. Mahalo.
